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Postby allpaintschurch » Thu May 24, 2018 8:02 pm

  allpaintschurch
Posts: 3
Joined: Thu May 24, 2018 7:51 pm

Subject title: please critique this

please could someone give me some advice on lighting, perspective etc. anything that could help me improve. thanks alot :)
cartoonse.jpg

 

Postby Alluffer » Thu May 31, 2018 11:55 am

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  Alluffer
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Joined: Fri Dec 11, 2015 3:26 pm

The main problem that I see is that everything is super sharply detailed. There are a lot of things that are way too sharp (the seagull's legs, the sparkles on the water) and it gives the image this ill look. Try focusing your sharp details on the focal points rather than all over the image. The creature could also be more faded into the background and less sharp.

Other than that I would maybe suggest developing the character of the creature. I'm a bit confused about it's intentions.

 

Postby allpaintschurch » Fri Jun 01, 2018 11:01 am

  allpaintschurch
Posts: 3
Joined: Thu May 24, 2018 7:51 pm

Thank you so much for your advice. This really helps alot.

 

Postby Snakebreath » Sat Jun 02, 2018 3:11 am

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  Snakebreath
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Location: Nova Scotia, Canada

First off, it's rendered beautifully. But this piece suffers a couple of fundamental issues. Depth, Storytelling, and Composition

The Depth in this image is very two dimensional. Theres the foreground, and the midground, and the background. But everything on those planes uses the space like a flat surface, rather than a 3D space. In my draw over I used the space better by adding a cast shadow to the gull, making more tentacles, and changing the ones there to create a more natural movement (and of course to show some depth) and I painted over most of the midground detail. Its great to have detail but remember as you get further away, that detail quickly fades! When you add detail, especially sharp detail to the further away elements it really flattens an image out.


The storytelling in this image is very confusing. This is one of the most important elements to an illustration, if someone doesn't understand whats going on everything else is in vain. I changed the squids features slightly to show anger, as if it wants to eat the gull or something, trying to give it a reason to be reaching for the bird.


The composition was rather boring, with how many flowy elements are in the image a slight shuffle helped really direct the eye to the focal point. I simply rotated the image slightly, extended the top of the image to make the gulls face (the focal point) land on one of the sweet spots when using the rule of thirds. (Further tweaking you could make the squids head land on one too, I just didn't have the time). I then used the tentacles to direct the eye to the birds face.

Overall great painting! Keep it up ^^
gull1.jpg
gull1notes.jpg

 

Postby Plumbum » Mon Jun 04, 2018 5:38 am

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  Plumbum
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I must say, I actually really like the storytelling in the picture. As I see it, the point of the picture is that we at first don't notice the tentacles about to grab the sea gull. When I noticed the tentacles I started laughing pretty hard. I think the tentacles were not hidden well enough, though.

Image

Here is a very crude paint over of what I mean. I added a bunch of atmosphere. The further something is from us, the more of the atmosphere we can see. It makes it harder for us to see the monster at first, which would really help with the storytelling. As others mentioned, things also get less detailed the further we are from it. This also makes us less likely to notice the monster at first.

Here is a greyscale version of what I mean:

Image

The higher contract in my paint over also makes us more likely to notice the sea gull before the monster.

Edit: also, please don't follow the rule of thirds. It does not actually make for a better composition. One of my favourite art teachers, Marshall Vandruff, said this the best: 'any book that tells you to divide the canvas into thirds or avoid the centre — and really means it — be wary'.
We have DID (the thing Sycra has).

Quick summary of forum writers:
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Sketchbook: http://www.sycra.net/forum/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=14540

 

Postby allpaintschurch » Wed Jun 06, 2018 9:48 pm

  allpaintschurch
Posts: 3
Joined: Thu May 24, 2018 7:51 pm

Thank you so much for the paintovers guys exactly what i needed. Amazing. Cant be thankful enough


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