Submit your artwork for critiques here, or give someone else some helpful criticism or advice on their artwork. Please keep things civil.

Moderators: Ambiguity, SeaQuenchal, Waveloop, imcostalong, virtueone

 

Postby MidnightSummer » Tue Oct 17, 2017 4:52 pm

User avatar
  MidnightSummer
Posts: 29
Joined: Fri Feb 20, 2015 1:05 pm

Subject title: Very First OC Improvement Critique

First of all, thank you for user Audiazif for helping me with the early stages of my drawing. I apologize for the repetition.

So this is my very first OC that I have made from scratch for a digital manga that I'm about to make. I just want to know what else can be adjusted to it to make further improvements.

For the shirt version, I know my knowledge of folds and creases aren't there yet, but I think that what I have achieved with it is I was able to make them by how the creases would look, but the placement of the creases themselves are off. If you guys have some websites or videos to recommend that you have learned how to do clothes and each type of clothing complication, that would be great! :)

For the shirtless version, I also just want to know if the proportions are still off, and some perspective issues as well.

For the overall look, i feel satisfied with the colors that I have used. (Skin, Background, Hair) and ooooh speaking of hair, I'd like to know if the flow of the hair is alright, and if not, I'd like to know too if there is anything else that can be done.

Thank you very much!

Edit: A follow up on the creases. I know that having less is more believable, but I feel that I didn't really overdo the creases because the cloth is in a neutral pose and there's no dynamic movement, no bending, flexing, extending, and tightness.
Kurt.Collage1.jpg

 

Postby nachobuddy » Wed Oct 18, 2017 12:18 pm

User avatar
  nachobuddy
Posts: 35
Joined: Thu Nov 06, 2014 11:10 am
Location: Norway

I'd mainly focus on the jaw. The jawline and the angle of the head seems really off compared to his face. I would round out his jawline, and position the mouth and nose further to the left to give his face a good 3/4 angle. Right now his head is 3/4, but the face is angled as if he's almost looking straight. If you want him to be looking more directly at you instead of a 3/4 angle, round out the jawline a lot more and move his chin to be more directly under the mouth. The shading of the hair is very good :-)

There's also something that is a little off about his upper body's anatomy. His collarbones should be higher up, and there shouldn't be such a distance between the neck and the collarbones. Usually the nipples are located one head down from the chin, so these are also too low. I would go a little easier on the transition from his shoulder to his upper arm, it almost doesnt look as though they're connected. Of course if that's intended for a doll-like look, then look past that :-) One thing with shading is if the highlight is cold, the shadows are warm. If the highlight is warm then the shadow should be colder, just to make his skin a bit more saturated.

I'm gonna stop before I turn into a pretentious critic, but the last thing I'd like to mention is the creasing. Unless there's a knot on the shirt that we can't see, the creasing shouldn't head straight downwards. There's rarely any dramatic creasing unless the pose is dynamic, or if you have knots, loose fabric being tucked in etc. As he's very broad and muscular, I'd have fewer creases and make then more horizontal as the fabric would be more strained by his width than his height. Depending on how loose the shirt is, I'd make slightly fewer creases on the sleeves and center them mainly on the armpit and elbows as fabric always bunches up at least a little bit in that area. Hope that's been of some help!

 

Postby nachobuddy » Wed Oct 18, 2017 5:15 pm

User avatar
  nachobuddy
Posts: 35
Joined: Thu Nov 06, 2014 11:10 am
Location: Norway

I also wanted to say sorry in case it seemed harsh, I have a tendency to be very straight forward and nitpick, but I think I came off a bit harder than I meant to :) So sorry about that. If I have time when I get home, I could try to do a draw-over to demonstrate a lil!

 

Postby MidnightSummer » Wed Oct 18, 2017 5:33 pm

User avatar
  MidnightSummer
Posts: 29
Joined: Fri Feb 20, 2015 1:05 pm

It's okay haha and it didn't seem harsh for me at all. I take critiques very seriously and try my hardest to understand how to incorporate them to my drawing. I'm in the process of making the changes and I hope I will do better this time haha :)

 

Postby MidnightSummer » Thu Nov 02, 2017 4:27 am

User avatar
  MidnightSummer
Posts: 29
Joined: Fri Feb 20, 2015 1:05 pm

So I made some adjustments to his shoulder and jaw area as well as the creases on his shirt. I'm honestly not sure if this would be considerable, but if there is still something that needs to be changed, please let me know :)

Thank you!
KurtNew1.jpg


Return to Critique This!

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 9 guests