Submit your artwork for critiques here, or give someone else some helpful criticism or advice on their artwork. Please keep things civil.

Moderators: Ambiguity, SeaQuenchal, Waveloop, imcostalong, virtueone

 

Postby Nipponkage » Wed Mar 06, 2013 6:05 pm

  Nipponkage
Posts: 272
Joined: Tue Oct 16, 2012 9:03 pm
Location: Cumernauld, Scotland :)

Subject title: Bear (Not the animal)

Image

I drew this a character that will be appearing on one of my friends comics (it's only a school one), and I was wondering what you think?

note: This was only so I could get my head around the character design, as originally it was my friend that would be doing it. However he's doing his own now, so I'm doing it. So I have to change his ideas from his style to mine.

 

Postby glitch » Thu Mar 07, 2013 6:27 am

  glitch
Posts: 24
Joined: Mon Mar 04, 2013 3:51 pm

I hate to be critical, but what design?
It's a guy with armor drawn on him with a sword or two. As for interest for a character design, it's rather boring.

I guess the question I'm asking is something like: Would he stand out in a crowd of other guys with swords and armor?

Before I read what it was for, the first thing I noted was flatness, which may be affecting the anatomical issues.
Understanding how forms sit in 3d a space is something I'd recommend in the future, because it seems that you have a general idea of how to shade them.


**haha being critical in a critique section. Hhhhhhhh

 

Postby Nipponkage » Thu Mar 07, 2013 9:32 am

  Nipponkage
Posts: 272
Joined: Tue Oct 16, 2012 9:03 pm
Location: Cumernauld, Scotland :)

Well apparently in terms of design I've done more than nessesery, 'cause the person whos coming up with the stiry said that what I'm doing right now is creating a sample, and at the end of the sample is going to be him silueted so you can only see his out-line. Plus if he had any objections or wanted stuff added I'm sure he would of told me. And also I didn't want to go too dark with the shading, cause I needed him to see every detail clearly... but now I've done that it should be fine I'll give it a go.... (and to the part the makes be shuder) what's the worst part about the anatomy (I've got a feeling it's one of the arms... or both). Oh well, Thanks for the critique. :)

 

Postby alnoth » Thu Mar 07, 2013 10:33 am

  alnoth
Posts: 1271
Joined: Fri Feb 24, 2012 8:30 am

the silhoutte will be boring, cause the stance is boring. standing directly ahead of us, both legs just plain straight. no twist in hips, no movement in torso, or the neck. he might as well have closed eyes and be dead, if it wasnt for that one arm pulling a sword. if anything, at least put him in 3/4 view rather than a dull pose from the dullest of all angles.

 

Postby Zjacklee » Thu Mar 07, 2013 11:53 am

User avatar
  Zjacklee
Posts: 1579
Joined: Sat Nov 10, 2012 4:13 am

About drawing interesting poses, have you seen this video from Sycra?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b1nxf5KQ2Js
Look closely. Can you really See?!

http://zjacklee.deviantart.com/ that's my deviant. ^_^

https://www.facebook.com/Trplerainbow My fanpage.

 

Postby Minako008 » Thu Mar 07, 2013 3:14 pm

  Minako008
Posts: 433
Joined: Sat Jun 23, 2012 7:10 pm

Well,its good to see you doing something, but still, the most important thing for you before going into design is learning how to draw human in general. The face of the guy...correct me guys if I mistaken, but the eyes are too big, nose is too down on the face, and the mouth is too. You have lack in shape of the guy, you know, hands and everything, its okay, because you still learning. But you have to focus on that mostly. You know, I drawing for 4 years (5-th has started) and begin to design characters only now, because doing that before you learn something about human anatomy is pointless. Its okay to draw something you like, doing only what need to be done is boring. But still, when doing fun stuff, keep in mind that you have a lot to learn before you can seriously work on the character designs.

P.S. I hope I not sound offensive, it just my way of thinking.

 

Postby Nipponkage » Thu Mar 07, 2013 4:55 pm

  Nipponkage
Posts: 272
Joined: Tue Oct 16, 2012 9:03 pm
Location: Cumernauld, Scotland :)

I probably should of told everyone that I'm doing a manga style comic and that it's just for a school club, so I could use this for practise... in terms of poses proportion etc.

 

Postby Minako008 » Thu Mar 07, 2013 6:58 pm

  Minako008
Posts: 433
Joined: Sat Jun 23, 2012 7:10 pm

Nipponkage wrote:I probably should of told everyone that I'm doing a manga style comic and that it's just for a school club, so I could use this for practise... in terms of poses proportion etc.


No, I understand that its manga style and all...but even for manga his eyes are way too big. I believe that in all styles of drawing for the eyes works one rule - the distance between eyes is one eye length. According to that, your eyes here are too big, even for manga.

 

Postby Nipponkage » Thu Mar 07, 2013 7:38 pm

  Nipponkage
Posts: 272
Joined: Tue Oct 16, 2012 9:03 pm
Location: Cumernauld, Scotland :)

Ahh I see what you mean... next time I draw him I'll try to fix the eyes next time.

 

Postby m-O » Thu Mar 07, 2013 9:14 pm

User avatar
  m-O
Posts: 185
Joined: Tue Oct 09, 2012 9:38 am
Location: Slovakia

Hi Nipponkage! I must agree with Minako. Manga figures are derived from real anatomy,
the difference is that some of the body features are exaggerated or suppressed.
Hope you don't get mad at me because i played with your drawing (if so i'm sorry)
The only thing i did was trying to get the "correct" size relationship between the body parts.
I think you're on the right track because i really like your style in those proportions^^
critiq.jpg

 

Postby Nipponkage » Thu Mar 07, 2013 9:26 pm

  Nipponkage
Posts: 272
Joined: Tue Oct 16, 2012 9:03 pm
Location: Cumernauld, Scotland :)

m-O wrote:Hi Nipponkage! I must agree with Minako. Manga figures are derived from real anatomy,
the difference is that some of the body features are exaggerated or suppressed.
Hope you don't get mad at me because i played with your drawing (if so i'm sorry)
The only thing i did was trying to get the "correct" size relationship between the body parts.
I think you're on the right track because i really like your style in those proportions^^



Nah it's fine... I find it helps more to have something that I can compare with to see what's wrong. I find it helps more to have an explanation and something visual to go along with it that just a worded explanation. Thanks :D

Well I think I've fixed the eyes. Do you agree?

Image

Ahhh just realized the the brightness was too high. *sigh*

 

Postby m-O » Thu Mar 07, 2013 9:43 pm

User avatar
  m-O
Posts: 185
Joined: Tue Oct 09, 2012 9:38 am
Location: Slovakia

Nipponkage wrote:Nah it's fine... I find it helps more to have something that I can compare with to see what's wrong. I find it helps more to have an explanation and something visual to go along with it that just a worded explanation. Thanks :D
Well I think I've fixed the eyes. Do you agree?


Oh i'm glad! It is better to see one time than to hear 100 times, you know the saying :lol:
Yeah i think that not only the eyes but also the proportions look better.

 

Postby Minako008 » Thu Mar 07, 2013 9:45 pm

  Minako008
Posts: 433
Joined: Sat Jun 23, 2012 7:10 pm

Yeah, I think that's better with the eyes. Good job! ;)

 

Postby Nipponkage » Thu Mar 07, 2013 9:50 pm

  Nipponkage
Posts: 272
Joined: Tue Oct 16, 2012 9:03 pm
Location: Cumernauld, Scotland :)

m-O wrote:
Nipponkage wrote:Nah it's fine... I find it helps more to have something that I can compare with to see what's wrong. I find it helps more to have an explanation and something visual to go along with it that just a worded explanation. Thanks :D
Well I think I've fixed the eyes. Do you agree?


Oh i'm glad! It is better to see one time than to hear 100 times, you know the saying :lol:
Yeah i think that not only the eyes but also the proportions look better.


Thanks but... I didn't alter the proportions.... strange (I wonder why it looks different).

minako wrote:eah, I think that's better with the eyes. Good job!


Thanks :D

 

Postby m-O » Thu Mar 07, 2013 10:14 pm

User avatar
  m-O
Posts: 185
Joined: Tue Oct 09, 2012 9:38 am
Location: Slovakia

Nipponkage wrote:Thanks but... I didn't alter the proportions.... strange (I wonder why it looks different).

Now i'm feeling embarrassed :lol: But it really feels different. Maybe because the shading is different, the drawing looks not so flat anymore.

 

Postby alnoth » Thu Mar 07, 2013 10:24 pm

  alnoth
Posts: 1271
Joined: Fri Feb 24, 2012 8:30 am

minako i love how you omit the "be" verb in your sentences - i can hear your russian right through the english :mrgreen:

 

Postby Ambiguity » Sat Mar 09, 2013 8:38 am

User avatar
  Ambiguity
Posts: 5524
Joined: Thu May 17, 2012 7:55 am
Location: Your dreams

m-O wrote:
Nipponkage wrote:Thanks but... I didn't alter the proportions.... strange (I wonder why it looks different).

Now i'm feeling embarrassed :lol: But it really feels different. Maybe because the shading is different, the drawing looks not so flat anymore.
It probably "feels" different because proportions work off of relativity, for example it's common for artists to check the proportions of the body relative to the head.

 

Postby Minako008 » Sat Mar 09, 2013 11:40 am

  Minako008
Posts: 433
Joined: Sat Jun 23, 2012 7:10 pm

alnoth wrote:minako i love how you omit the "be" verb in your sentences - i can hear your russian right through the english :mrgreen:


Ha-ha, really? Well...okay :lol: Guess I cant hide it :)

 

Postby perkexpert » Sat Mar 09, 2013 11:51 am

User avatar
  perkexpert
Posts: 879
Joined: Fri Jun 22, 2012 1:37 pm
Location: Germany

On a sidenote: What's important before you even pick up a pencil when speaking of design is to really think about the character. We tend to be
distracted by things that we (especially guys) think are cool, like props, big weapons, armor, but really are these are just tools and props. What's important:
What is the story all about? What is the character doing, what are his motivations and maybe internal struggles? What are his beliefs, what's his
personality? All this should be part of a "design". At least that's what i think. So tell us sth about this character and we might be able to
tell you sth about your picture beeing true to the "design". To pull this off, you should of course be able to render a basic character, have different emotions in a face and so on,
your rendering is a good start, but i guess, you couldn't display him in different poses, moods and so on, so keep working!
Homo sapiens non urinat in ventum
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/artofhannesmangelsdorf/
Homepage: www.perkexpert.com

 

Postby Nipponkage » Sat Mar 09, 2013 3:05 pm

  Nipponkage
Posts: 272
Joined: Tue Oct 16, 2012 9:03 pm
Location: Cumernauld, Scotland :)

perkexpert wrote:On a sidenote: What's important before you even pick up a pencil when speaking of design is to really think about the character. We tend to be
distracted by things that we (especially guys) think are cool, like props, big weapons, armor, but really are these are just tools and props. What's important:
What is the story all about? What is the character doing, what are his motivations and maybe internal struggles? What are his beliefs, what's his
personality? All this should be part of a "design". At least that's what i think. So tell us sth about this character and we might be able to
tell you sth about your picture beeing true to the "design". To pull this off, you should of course be able to render a basic character, have different emotions in a face and so on,
your rendering is a good start, but i guess, you couldn't display him in different poses, moods and so on, so keep working!


Well that's the thing, you know how I said that my friend was originally supposed to be doing this, well all this drawing is, is my version of his drawing ( it had two left hands) and from this I'm hoping to get a more general idea of what he wanted the character design to be. Although as far as I'm aware, this character is a leader of a group in a fellow pupils comic and also I hear ( not 100% sure) that he's supposed to be a female fan service character (although I don't think so).

 

Postby Zjacklee » Sun Mar 10, 2013 1:19 pm

User avatar
  Zjacklee
Posts: 1579
Joined: Sat Nov 10, 2012 4:13 am

Nipponkage wrote:
perkexpert wrote:On a sidenote: What's important before you even pick up a pencil when speaking of design is to really think about the character. We tend to be
distracted by things that we (especially guys) think are cool, like props, big weapons, armor, but really are these are just tools and props. What's important:
What is the story all about? What is the character doing, what are his motivations and maybe internal struggles? What are his beliefs, what's his
personality? All this should be part of a "design". At least that's what i think. So tell us sth about this character and we might be able to
tell you sth about your picture beeing true to the "design". To pull this off, you should of course be able to render a basic character, have different emotions in a face and so on,
your rendering is a good start, but i guess, you couldn't display him in different poses, moods and so on, so keep working!


Well that's the thing, you know how I said that my friend was originally supposed to be doing this, well all this drawing is, is my version of his drawing ( it had two left hands) and from this I'm hoping to get a more general idea of what he wanted the character design to be. Although as far as I'm aware, this character is a leader of a group in a fellow pupils comic and also I hear ( not 100% sure) that he's supposed to be a female fan service character (although I don't think so).


If it's about female fan service then you should check out some bishonen characters. Check their types of faces. (pretty boy) Exactly the right amount of muscles or even on the slender side. The character expressions and charming attitude. Type of clothing can be non-gender specific or as they say Unisex. As in, the type of clothes that you can't tell that it's for men or woman.
Look closely. Can you really See?!

http://zjacklee.deviantart.com/ that's my deviant. ^_^

https://www.facebook.com/Trplerainbow My fanpage.

 

Postby Dream » Mon Mar 11, 2013 8:28 am

User avatar
  Dream
Posts: 735
Joined: Sat Nov 24, 2012 10:18 pm
Location: Asuncion, Paraguay.

Minako008 wrote:
alnoth wrote:minako i love how you omit the "be" verb in your sentences - i can hear your russian right through the english :mrgreen:


Ha-ha, really? Well...okay :lol: Guess I cant hide it :)


... Minako's russian?

I would have never imagined.

If it's about female fan service then you should check out some bishonen characters. Check their types of faces. (pretty boy) Exactly the right amount of muscles or even on the slender side. The character expressions and charming attitude. Type of clothing can be non-gender specific or as they say Unisex. As in, the type of clothes that you can't tell that it's for men or woman.


I'm not sure if the clothes should be gender-ambiguous, but i don't think it would hurt too much. Also, when it comes to bishonen, you should probably think more in terms of elegance and beauty than manliness or prettiness.

I don't know if this might help, but i think this text comes to the topic a bit (Kunihiko Ikuhara is one of the main "series director" and generally the one to thank for Sailor Moon and Revolutionary Girl Utena, by the way. A very liked and admired person in the industry):

There’s a type of anime which targets a "girl" audience, maybe through being based on shoujo manga, or maybe through having an outlook on the world that’s informed by a girl’s perspective. Originally, the main trends were titles based on popular shoujo manga, like Candy Candy and Rose of Versailles, and magical girl titles, like Magical Princess Minky Momo and Magical Angel Creamy Mami. As a group, they were gentle works in which the subtleties of human emotion were depicted in details or dangers were escaped via the fantastical actions we call "magic." And then, in 1992, Pretty Soldier Sailor Moon began, and the tides changed. Girls actively used their physical skills to defeat evil. Kunihiko Ikuhara, a Sailor Moon director, once commented that "Seeing girls be violent is pleasurable to viewers now." Violence: what everyone had thought girls wanted to avoid at all costs up until then. It’s a world with very negative associations, but it’s true - in the show, Sailor Moon and the others punched and kicked their enemies. What’s most important, however, was not that our popular image of girls had fallen so low that we could see them as violent; it’s that even when they had action scenes like that, the heroines were still beautiful. That’s what inspired the girls’ longing; - even action scenes that only come across as violent with male heroes turn cute and cool when girls do them. Maybe that was what people intrinsically desired even more than fighting boys. And so there was no longer any need for a setup in which the girl is protected by the boy. In that situation, what Kunihiko Ikuhara created next was Revolutionary Girl Utena. It was a show that flew right in the face of the "prince fantasy" setup: the prince who saves the princess is a girl. The world of Utena was a logical extension of the fighting girls you saw in Sailor Moon: what you could call the consummated form of that world. And there was this theme that you fought the male prince as an outdated ideal.


Emphasis mine.
What is nature, but a miserable little pile of forms!?

"This is the truth: when you sacrifice your life, you must make fullest use of your weaponry. It is false not to do so, and to die with a weapon yet undrawn."

 

Postby Nipponkage » Mon Mar 11, 2013 9:31 am

  Nipponkage
Posts: 272
Joined: Tue Oct 16, 2012 9:03 pm
Location: Cumernauld, Scotland :)

keep in mind that's that's only something I heard when around the old artiest and the story writer... and I think he mention a male fan service character too. So there will be two one for guys and one for girls.

 

Postby Zjacklee » Mon Mar 11, 2013 4:19 pm

User avatar
  Zjacklee
Posts: 1579
Joined: Sat Nov 10, 2012 4:13 am

I'm not sure if the clothes should be gender-ambiguous, but i don't think it would hurt too much. Also, when it comes to bishonen, you should probably think more in terms of elegance and beauty than manliness or prettiness.


Elegance and beauty! I totally agree. I couldn't explain it better. haha :lol:
Look closely. Can you really See?!

http://zjacklee.deviantart.com/ that's my deviant. ^_^

https://www.facebook.com/Trplerainbow My fanpage.


Return to Critique This!

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 7 guests