Submit your artwork for critiques here, or give someone else some helpful criticism or advice on their artwork. Please keep things civil.

Moderators: Ambiguity, SeaQuenchal, Waveloop, imcostalong, virtueone

 

Postby Kuronuma » Mon Feb 11, 2013 1:26 pm

User avatar
  Kuronuma
Posts: 1943
Joined: Sun Jan 27, 2013 10:04 pm

Subject title: Feedback

Heya.

I've been thinking about entering a minor little competition where we're supposed to make an anime related pic for a badge that will ultimately be 33x33mm. So I tried to do something and I would love to hear what you guys think! :)

Spoiler: show
Image


Oh yes and we are supposed not to make too many details for it will be quite tiny so please keep that in mind :).
Check out my deviantart! http://psycadela.deviantart.com/
And my sketchbook viewtopic.php?f=3&t=8210&start=340 :)

Oh oh! I created my fb page! https://www.facebook.com/psycadela

 

Postby Total100 » Mon Feb 11, 2013 3:43 pm

User avatar
  Total100
Posts: 778
Joined: Tue Dec 04, 2012 11:20 pm
Location: in my room. 1 laptop for video another laptop for forum. and a 1 sketchbook for drawing...

the lines are a bit shaky and you need to color it more. it looks bucket filled. add highlight to the hair, bigger darks etc
"Art is my cooking channel, i watch it, drool over it, and hope to one day make it."
I'm Alex, I'm 12,
Here is my sketchbook= viewtopic.php?f=3&t=2900 :)

 

Postby Kuronuma » Mon Feb 11, 2013 3:49 pm

User avatar
  Kuronuma
Posts: 1943
Joined: Sun Jan 27, 2013 10:04 pm

Yea I'll have to fix the lines.. aand it's not bucket filled :P but I get what you mean :).

By the way I tried something a bit different..

Image
Check out my deviantart! http://psycadela.deviantart.com/
And my sketchbook viewtopic.php?f=3&t=8210&start=340 :)

Oh oh! I created my fb page! https://www.facebook.com/psycadela

 

Postby Zjacklee » Mon Feb 11, 2013 4:17 pm

User avatar
  Zjacklee
Posts: 1579
Joined: Sat Nov 10, 2012 4:13 am

First thing I notice and kind of bothers me by looking at it is the oversized hair. Also the hair doesn't seem like hair. it seems more like a blob on top of the head.
next there are some issues with the anatomy. the way the shoulders seem and the front with her breasts. I can't really see that she has breasts. it's like its flat with the cloth on top.

about the anatomy again.... think of how that collar goes around the neck. you seem to have had trouble placing the clothing there...

the face... i would try to draw her center line. see if everything is in sync. To me it seems skewed. where the nose is, the mouth and the chin.
I don't find the colours very pleasing to look at, at the moment. and your shading doesn't show the form of the subject.

well, hope this helps.

where is that competition? on deviant art?
Look closely. Can you really See?!

http://zjacklee.deviantart.com/ that's my deviant. ^_^

https://www.facebook.com/Trplerainbow My fanpage.

 

Postby Kuronuma » Mon Feb 11, 2013 4:34 pm

User avatar
  Kuronuma
Posts: 1943
Joined: Sun Jan 27, 2013 10:04 pm

Well this is a picture of Major Motoko from Ghost in teh Shell and her hair kinda looks all weird..

Image

The other things, I'll try to look into it :).
And the competition it's just a minor thing for a anime festival that will be held in the city I live in.
Check out my deviantart! http://psycadela.deviantart.com/
And my sketchbook viewtopic.php?f=3&t=8210&start=340 :)

Oh oh! I created my fb page! https://www.facebook.com/psycadela

 

Postby Zjacklee » Mon Feb 11, 2013 5:07 pm

User avatar
  Zjacklee
Posts: 1579
Joined: Sat Nov 10, 2012 4:13 am

this is the character right?
Spoiler: show
Image


she has a big bang in the front... that's true.
anime hair is made most of the times a bit bigger then the head, but if you exaggerate it too much it won't look good.
in the old days of anime it was a common thing to do... it is a certain style but you have to be careful how you draw it.

Also notice that the top of the hair is not bigger then the face of the character. :P ( depends of the hairstyle of course... which you have to keep in mind how it's styled )

with the DBZ characters for instance it's obviously going up and pointy. But this one it's more or less resting on the head.
Look closely. Can you really See?!

http://zjacklee.deviantart.com/ that's my deviant. ^_^

https://www.facebook.com/Trplerainbow My fanpage.

 

Postby Kuronuma » Mon Feb 11, 2013 5:12 pm

User avatar
  Kuronuma
Posts: 1943
Joined: Sun Jan 27, 2013 10:04 pm

Yes well I was going more with the old manga look..

something like this..
Spoiler: show
Image


Now I'm wondering if I made a mistake with that, hmm. Also I think I already mentioned it but it will be really tiny in the end so I should just not focus on too many details?

not so sure now :(
Check out my deviantart! http://psycadela.deviantart.com/
And my sketchbook viewtopic.php?f=3&t=8210&start=340 :)

Oh oh! I created my fb page! https://www.facebook.com/psycadela

 

Postby Zjacklee » Mon Feb 11, 2013 5:34 pm

User avatar
  Zjacklee
Posts: 1579
Joined: Sat Nov 10, 2012 4:13 am

Now if you look carefully at this example you are giving me... the hair seems spiky up. it goes with the hairstyle to be high at the top like that. but still notice that it's not much bigger then the face.
the hairstyle you drew seems too smooth at the top.
it's those small details that make the whole difference on the outlook of something. And I do understand that you say it shouldn't have much details, but it should still be readable in a certain way. the shape can not be compromised by simplicity. Only the minor things that you could add as an extra to a drawing like texture for example.

Check chibi's for instance... those don't have much details but I can still see what the hairstyle would be.
Spoiler: show
Image
Look closely. Can you really See?!

http://zjacklee.deviantart.com/ that's my deviant. ^_^

https://www.facebook.com/Trplerainbow My fanpage.

 

Postby alnoth » Mon Feb 11, 2013 5:39 pm

  alnoth
Posts: 1271
Joined: Fri Feb 24, 2012 8:30 am

why dont chibis have feet? tough part to draw?

 

Postby Zjacklee » Mon Feb 11, 2013 5:47 pm

User avatar
  Zjacklee
Posts: 1579
Joined: Sat Nov 10, 2012 4:13 am

alnoth wrote:why dont chibis have feet? tough part to draw?


if you look very carefully, this chibi up here has feet. they are pretty small. the point of chibis is to make them as simple as possible. sometimes they don't even have hands. :P
Look closely. Can you really See?!

http://zjacklee.deviantart.com/ that's my deviant. ^_^

https://www.facebook.com/Trplerainbow My fanpage.

 

Postby Kuronuma » Mon Feb 11, 2013 5:49 pm

User avatar
  Kuronuma
Posts: 1943
Joined: Sun Jan 27, 2013 10:04 pm

Yea. I see now! I'll try to fix the hair now..
Check out my deviantart! http://psycadela.deviantart.com/
And my sketchbook viewtopic.php?f=3&t=8210&start=340 :)

Oh oh! I created my fb page! https://www.facebook.com/psycadela

 

Postby Total100 » Mon Feb 11, 2013 6:16 pm

User avatar
  Total100
Posts: 778
Joined: Tue Dec 04, 2012 11:20 pm
Location: in my room. 1 laptop for video another laptop for forum. and a 1 sketchbook for drawing...

Zjacklee wrote:Now if you look carefully at this example you are giving me... the hair seems spiky up. it goes with the hairstyle to be high at the top like that. but still notice that it's not much bigger then the face.
the hairstyle you drew seems too smooth at the top.
it's those small details that make the whole difference on the outlook of something. And I do understand that you say it shouldn't have much details, but it should still be readable in a certain way. the shape can not be compromised by simplicity. Only the minor things that you could add as an extra to a drawing like texture for example.

Check chibi's for instance... those don't have much details but I can still see what the hairstyle would be.
Spoiler: show
Image


wow
Spoiler: show
Image

14 year old girl just turned into a baby. XD
"Art is my cooking channel, i watch it, drool over it, and hope to one day make it."
I'm Alex, I'm 12,
Here is my sketchbook= viewtopic.php?f=3&t=2900 :)

 

Postby Kuronuma » Mon Feb 11, 2013 6:29 pm

User avatar
  Kuronuma
Posts: 1943
Joined: Sun Jan 27, 2013 10:04 pm

Soooo I think this is better now? (I'm a bit clueless about the highlight in her hair and also the background... :( )

Spoiler: show
Image


*edit: Now I noticed there's something weird going on with her left boob (on the right side of the pic) but that only is when I resize it.. dunno what to do about it :(
Check out my deviantart! http://psycadela.deviantart.com/
And my sketchbook viewtopic.php?f=3&t=8210&start=340 :)

Oh oh! I created my fb page! https://www.facebook.com/psycadela

 

Postby HMwallghost » Mon Feb 11, 2013 10:15 pm

  HMwallghost
Posts: 41
Joined: Wed Feb 06, 2013 1:36 am

please take my crit lightly..
It might not be to your taste, and it's probably just me that thinks these things...
I'm not claiming this is better
please remember IDK how to draw anime hair so some rules may be different.
you might have had a completely different vision for things.so please again
take this lightly

the coloring is better than your original! :D and overall I like it!
There's only a few things that bother me and they're here:
Image
"Don't like me for who I am? Then you don't like me for who I am. And all you're gonna get is who I am."

 

Postby Kuronuma » Mon Feb 11, 2013 10:41 pm

User avatar
  Kuronuma
Posts: 1943
Joined: Sun Jan 27, 2013 10:04 pm

Wow, thanks for the ideas :) I have to fix the collar, cos now I can really see it being way off.

I made some changes though and I think it better.

Image
Check out my deviantart! http://psycadela.deviantart.com/
And my sketchbook viewtopic.php?f=3&t=8210&start=340 :)

Oh oh! I created my fb page! https://www.facebook.com/psycadela

 

Postby HMwallghost » Mon Feb 11, 2013 10:46 pm

  HMwallghost
Posts: 41
Joined: Wed Feb 06, 2013 1:36 am

It IS getting better! Can't wait to see it complete!
"Don't like me for who I am? Then you don't like me for who I am. And all you're gonna get is who I am."

 

Postby Kuronuma » Tue Feb 12, 2013 2:27 pm

User avatar
  Kuronuma
Posts: 1943
Joined: Sun Jan 27, 2013 10:04 pm

Thanks! ^-^

I wworked on it a bit more tho I'm still not sure about the background. Buuuut I think it looks kinda cool when it's the tiny tiny 33x33mm this way. dunno.

Image
Check out my deviantart! http://psycadela.deviantart.com/
And my sketchbook viewtopic.php?f=3&t=8210&start=340 :)

Oh oh! I created my fb page! https://www.facebook.com/psycadela


Return to Critique This!

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 9 guests

cron