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Postby PedroAbreu » Fri Jan 25, 2013 12:01 am

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Subject title: Need Critique!

This was done as a practice. I know the lightning is awful but still I tried to fiddle with all the red values I could :). Fire your critiques away!
Untitled-6.jpg

 

Postby Ambiguity » Fri Jan 25, 2013 12:30 am

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That high contrast mixed with high saturation is what's killing the lighting; I'd just lower the saturation a tad except for maybe on the face since that's the focal point. Also, the smudginess of her armor makes it look furry, I assume that's not what you want. Lastly, her eyes don't line up, nor do they appear to be 1 eyes width apart like they should be.

 

Postby PedroAbreu » Fri Jan 25, 2013 1:24 am

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Ambiguity wrote: Lastly, her eyes don't line up, nor do they appear to be 1 eyes width apart like they should be.


It is not a front view and I'm still a noob with some face proportions. Can't really count eyes width sideways very well. Any tips on how to do so? Or just more sketching?

 

Postby kocab22 » Fri Jan 25, 2013 8:09 am

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I think whole perspective is a bit off. Her left shoulder compared to the chest should be smaller IMO.. regarding eyes it is all perspective and foreshortening so find some material about it .. here is a link of video about it http://www.vectology.com/tutorials/anat ... -formulas/

 

Postby alnoth » Fri Jan 25, 2013 8:21 am

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when you make her eyeballs light up, make sure they are eyeBALLS - you have a straight (?) edge on her right eyeball and an inexplicable shape on her left eyeball. also notice the line of the lower lids against her eyeballs - when you compare the direction of this line for one eye and the other, the difference seems strange - it seems to me her left eye is higher up in the skull then her right eye.

 

Postby Ambiguity » Fri Jan 25, 2013 8:33 am

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PedroAbreu wrote:It is not a front view and I'm still a noob with some face proportions. Can't really count eyes width sideways very well. Any tips on how to do so? Or just more sketching?
The only real tip I have is that on most people the tear ducts line up with the edges of the nostrils(so basically the nose is usually 1 eyes width). There are exceptions though like when it comes to stylizing or certain races like those of African descent where the nose can often be a bit wider(but sometimes the eyes are also set wider apart to make up for this).

The eyes not being on the same plane to me is quite obvious though, flipping your canvas might make this more easily visible to you.

.:Edit:.
There were actually quite a few perspective issues with the face I noticed when I was painting over it:
Spoiler: show
Image

 

Postby PedroAbreu » Fri Jan 25, 2013 6:03 pm

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the idea was for the entire eye to glow not just the iris and I tried to make it so. The shoulder thing was intended to be some kind of primitive foreshortening but I guess it didn't really succeed. And Ambiguity, thank you for painting it over. The way you put the nose lines and the mouth helped me to see my mistakes :)

 

Postby Waveloop » Sat Jan 26, 2013 12:50 am

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Epá é a primeira vez q faço uma crítica em Português por aqui :D

Ora bem, venho falar mais uma vez do cabelo, se reparares bem, tu estás a desenhar o cabelo como se ela estivesse completamente de perfil, os cabelos seguem apenas uma direcção. Eu tomei a liberdade de fazer um esquema :D

outra coisa, para dar a sensação de que os olhos brilham tens de usar mais branco no meio, onde a luz é mais intensa, eu costumo usar uma air brush para dar esse efeito... eu reduzi a opacidade, mas se repares no meu exemplo criei esse efeito na imagem da direita.

Continua abraço.


For anyone who is wondering what the hell is this guy saying... I don't give a ....

:D kidding, was just talking about the hair, and how it looks kinda flat, cuz hair flow it's not in accordance with the head position.

and some sweet stuff about glowig eyes to. 8-)

cheers
ZlP39i1 4.jpg

 

Postby Zjacklee » Sat Jan 26, 2013 7:03 pm

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Waveloop wrote:Epá é a primeira vez q faço uma crítica em Português por aqui :D

Ora bem, venho falar mais uma vez do cabelo, se reparares bem, tu estás a desenhar o cabelo como se ela estivesse completamente de perfil, os cabelos seguem apenas uma direcção. Eu tomei a liberdade de fazer um esquema :D

outra coisa, para dar a sensação de que os olhos brilham tens de usar mais branco no meio, onde a luz é mais intensa, eu costumo usar uma air brush para dar esse efeito... eu reduzi a opacidade, mas se repares no meu exemplo criei esse efeito na imagem da direita.

Continua abraço.


For anyone who is wondering what the hell is this guy saying... I don't give a ....

:D kidding, was just talking about the hair, and how it looks kinda flat, cuz hair flow it's not in accordance with the head position.

and some sweet stuff about glowig eyes to. 8-)

cheers


I'm intrigued to know that I understand portuguese! #showoff 8-)
I can't speak it nor write it myself, but when it comes to reading it.... it's almost the same as spanish.
Look closely. Can you really See?!

http://zjacklee.deviantart.com/ that's my deviant. ^_^

https://www.facebook.com/Trplerainbow My fanpage.

 

Postby PedroAbreu » Sat Jan 26, 2013 8:36 pm

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Waveloop wrote:Epá é a primeira vez q faço uma crítica em Português por aqui :D

Ora bem, venho falar mais uma vez do cabelo, se reparares bem, tu estás a desenhar o cabelo como se ela estivesse completamente de perfil, os cabelos seguem apenas uma direcção. Eu tomei a liberdade de fazer um esquema :D

outra coisa, para dar a sensação de que os olhos brilham tens de usar mais branco no meio, onde a luz é mais intensa, eu costumo usar uma air brush para dar esse efeito... eu reduzi a opacidade, mas se repares no meu exemplo criei esse efeito na imagem da direita.

Continua abraço.


Obrigado :) é ótimo receber feedback em português. Acredita que todas as correcções que dizes eu anoto no meu sketchbook para em sketches ou desenhos futuros ter cuidado. O trabalho que te deste para desenhar as setinhas de forma a eu perceber o que querias dizer é fenomenal, obrigado :D. O cabelo também não devia tanto volume na parte de trás a ver-se pois a perspectiva nao é completamente de perfil. Obrigado! Também vou fazer um sketchbook na outra secção deste fórum, acho que é bastante produtivo.

 

Postby Waveloop » Sun Jan 27, 2013 7:41 am

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Sim faz isso, eu tenho um já há algum tempo, é fixe para ir vedo os progressos que a malta tem ao longo dos tempos. Dá uma checada, nos sketchbooks do pessoal, há por aí alguns mesmo bons.

 

Postby perkexpert » Sun Jan 27, 2013 6:24 pm

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Hi Pedro,

in my opinion, you wanted too much too fast, your illustration is very ambitious, good you tried it :)
I think your drawing lacks in the fundamentals and therefore no kind of tweaking will make it shine,
id redo it from ground up, several points:
- the pose is a bit weak and i'd show arms or hands, draw a lot of them, get reference
- get the drawing right, there are several issues with anatomy and general "3D-ness" some of your shapes are "flat" like the eyes or the hair
- if you think you got a decent drawing of the figure (no armor involved yet), post it here, flip it, redraw, study parts where you got problems
- if you got your basic figure, think about the armoursuit, keep it simple, your illustration shows that you are not sure about the forms (at least i can't see them clearly)
- get reference
- if you got a decent drawing THEN you should begin to paint.
- Your painting suffers from the weaknesses in your drawing so: The value should describe the form, depending on the lighting,
- Establish a good value base (darks and lights and midtones) keep it simple and aim for a strong statement, keep a simple lighting scheme, you seem to have some kind of two point lighting scheme in mind. Your painting has not a clearly established value-range. The colors on top are way too saturated.
- stay away from color until the values are correct. Color is the last thing you want to care about, if you got a decent painting with strong values, getting color in is a lot easier.
- overall: Spend A LOT OF TIME...i guess for some kind of polished illustration like this you would need at least 15 hours or so.

You said you did this a a sort of practice: I think you should tackle single and simpler problems first: Valuestudies of simple objects, figures and poses, faces, features and so on. I hope i didn't offend you, keep it going, draw a lot....rinse repeat.

Anyhow, keep it going!
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