Submit your artwork for critiques here, or give someone else some helpful criticism or advice on their artwork. Please keep things civil.

Moderators: Ambiguity, SeaQuenchal, Waveloop, imcostalong, virtueone

 

Postby gricc » Sun Jul 02, 2017 6:46 am

User avatar
  gricc
Posts: 103
Joined: Sun Jun 11, 2017 4:46 am

Subject title: Characters for an Action Story!

Today I decided to design a few characters, the lady on the left is this bad ass covert ops super soldier African woman, and on the right is an old war vet who smokes a lot of weed. The story is that the woman has a thirst of revenge against whoever i'm not sure yet, and she builds a nation full of technology and weaponry with the old man because he took care of her when she was younger because her home and family were burnt down by whoever. I'm still thinking about the story but all I know is that I want a bunch of guns and maybe robots. Oh, and the girls name is Oga but i'm not sure about the guys name. Let me know what you think about the character design, story, etc.
oga.jpg
Sinix 2.0

 

Postby gricc » Tue Jul 04, 2017 4:51 am

User avatar
  gricc
Posts: 103
Joined: Sun Jun 11, 2017 4:46 am

Take note that this isnt close to complete at all, but feel free to rip this up! Also, how do you paint cloth or clothing?
oggga.jpg
Last edited by gricc on Tue Jul 04, 2017 8:09 am, edited 1 time in total.
Sinix 2.0

 

Postby Josephcow » Tue Jul 04, 2017 7:28 am

User avatar
  Josephcow
Posts: 821
Joined: Mon Jun 30, 2014 9:46 pm

Okay well I think the design is visually pretty cool. I just have one logistical problem.
You said Oga is a *covert* super solider. It doesn't make sense that she would have those distinctive facial tattoos/piercings, and a giant afro if she is going to be undercover. She looks very conspicuous.

The story is a little generic to be honest. It's kind of the classic "you killed my father! prepare to die!" revenge trope. It has potential, but you should figure it out a little bit more since it's the story that should drive the character design, not the other way around.

 

Postby gricc » Tue Jul 04, 2017 8:13 am

User avatar
  gricc
Posts: 103
Joined: Sun Jun 11, 2017 4:46 am

Josephcow wrote:Okay well I think the design is visually pretty cool. I just have one logistical problem.
You said Oga is a *covert* super solider. It doesn't make sense that she would have those distinctive facial tattoos/piercings, and a giant afro if she is going to be undercover. She looks very conspicuous.

The story is a little generic to be honest. It's kind of the classic "you killed my father! prepare to die!" revenge trope. It has potential, but you should figure it out a little bit more since it's the story that should drive the character design, not the other way around.


Thanks so much! It's nice to finally get some feedback. And the things you said were very helpful, it would be better to make a thoughtout story first. It's just something I have never really done before and I wanted to try something new. And about the whole covert thing, I guess I forgot to mention she was an ex-covert super soldier thing. Feel free to help out with the story by giving out ideas!
Sinix 2.0


Return to Critique This!

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

cron