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Postby Iksnerogib » Sun Mar 26, 2017 4:44 am

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Subject title: Comic book page

Hi, guys.
Don't know if you'll remember me. I used to be active here several months ago. Been studying a lot since then...

Please critique this page. Any critique will be highly appreciated.


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Postby Audiazif » Sun Mar 26, 2017 6:56 am

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The only thing that I can critique is you broke the "180 degree rule". It is more of a film term but it is also applicable to comics/graphic novels. Basically, you want to avoid a panel where the "camera" is 180 degrees opposite of what it was in the previous panel(s). It can be confusing to the viewer if you have unintentional breaking of this rule. I think the first and last panels are doing this. You establish with the three guys on the left and the one on the right, in the last panel it is flipped with the one guy on the left and the three on the right. At first glace this made me confused as to what was going on. In order to fix it I would keep the three on the left and the one on the right throughout the two panels. I hope this makes sense. If not here is an article that might help.

P.S. Other than the 180 degree rule, everything else is great. I really like the rain effect. It seems to me like rain would be something that someone could go overboard with but you didn't and handled it nicely. Great work! :D
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Postby Oli » Sun Mar 26, 2017 11:07 am

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looks dope! I really love the background clouds and the dark atmosphere. However, this is kinda lost in the last panel. There you have enough room to add more details to illustrate the madness of war, e.g. barbwire, bodies (or parts of 'em anyway) skulls and stuff.

Cheers and happy painting :D
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Postby Iksnerogib » Sun Mar 26, 2017 3:27 pm

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Audiazif wrote:The only thing that I can critique is you broke the "180 degree rule". It is more of a film term but it is also applicable to comics/graphic novels. Basically, you want to avoid a panel where the "camera" is 180 degrees opposite of what it was in the previous panel(s). It can be confusing to the viewer if you have unintentional breaking of this rule. I think the first and last panels are doing this. You establish with the three guys on the left and the one on the right, in the last panel it is flipped with the one guy on the left and the three on the right. At first glace this made me confused as to what was going on. In order to fix it I would keep the three on the left and the one on the right throughout the two panels. I hope this makes sense. If not here is an article that might help.

P.S. Other than the 180 degree rule, everything else is great. I really like the rain effect. It seems to me like rain would be something that someone could go overboard with but you didn't and handled it nicely. Great work! :D



Thanks a lot Audiazif!
Yes, it does make sense. That 180 degree shift was indeed a dangerous choice. Do you think that inverting the rain direction in all panels, except the first one, will make it less confuse?
Last edited by Iksnerogib on Sun Mar 26, 2017 3:31 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Iksnerogib » Sun Mar 26, 2017 3:30 pm

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Oli wrote:looks dope! I really love the background clouds and the dark atmosphere. However, this is kinda lost in the last panel. There you have enough room to add more details to illustrate the madness of war, e.g. barbwire, bodies (or parts of 'em anyway) skulls and stuff.

Cheers and happy painting :D


Thanks a lot Oli!
I feel you. It was lazy of me to not draw some bodies in the last panel :oops:
Cheers
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Postby Audiazif » Sun Mar 26, 2017 6:53 pm

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I was thinking that inverting the entire last panel might help.
Untitled-2.png

What do you think? I think it also helps with the page's flow into the next page (if there is one).
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Postby Iksnerogib » Sun Mar 26, 2017 7:01 pm

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Audiazif wrote:I was thinking that inverting the entire last panel might help.
What do you think? I think it also helps with the page's flow into the next page (if there is one).


I Like it. But now I'm kinda of divided :) As it changes the relationship between them.

I'll try to invert only the rain drops to see how it looks.

But, as your critiques have been usefull, I'll post another page in which I'm struggling.
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