Submit your artwork for critiques here, or give someone else some helpful criticism or advice on their artwork. Please keep things civil.

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Postby Hayaku_manabi_jin » Wed May 08, 2013 7:42 pm

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Subject title: Contest piece critique.

What do you think? Sorry for the quality.
photo_00021.jpg
Last edited by Hayaku_manabi_jin on Wed May 08, 2013 9:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.

 

Postby Snakebreath » Wed May 08, 2013 8:41 pm

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Looks really good!! The only thing I could think to critique is the body proportions seem a bit small, besides that looks great! Start a sketchbook and post some more stuff for us to see! :)

 

Postby Hayaku_manabi_jin » Wed May 08, 2013 8:57 pm

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I don't know if it worked but this person (inspired by waka from Ókami), is supposed to be a child, hence the proportion sizes.

 

Postby Snakebreath » Wed May 08, 2013 9:12 pm

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I thought that was the reason, good job!

 

Postby Waveloop » Thu May 09, 2013 7:28 am

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There are some things I could point.

The length of the forearms are not the same, and he (I guess he's a he) has a very small belly, not a lot of room for guts there ;)

And I think he is too linear pose wise, and composition too.

I did a little draw over to make my points, anyway this is just the way I see it.

sorry for the roughness. pretty quick sketch, but hopefully it shows what I mean.
photo_00022.jpg
photo_00023.jpg

 

Postby Hayaku_manabi_jin » Thu May 09, 2013 3:56 pm

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Waveloop wrote:There are some things I could point.

The length of the forearms are not the same, and he (I guess he's a he) has a very small belly, not a lot of room for guts there ;)

And I think he is too linear pose wise, and composition too.

I did a little draw over to make my points, anyway this is just the way I see it.

sorry for the roughness. pretty quick sketch, but hopefully it shows what I mean.


I'm aware that one forearm's bigger than the other: it's because of the way you hold a flute (or a flute type instrument)
Image
(Sorry if I sound angry when I'm saying this. Didn't mean it)

Also I don't know how to show it in this type of picture but the tree is supposed to be at the top of a hill, which is why the leg's going down like that. Although I agree that the belly should be bigger. Thanks though, appreciate it :D

 

Postby Waveloop » Thu May 09, 2013 4:54 pm

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Yep that would be more interesting... but have in account (in the image you uploaded, her torso is rotating way to her left, giving a little foreshorten into that far arm. And her flute is inclined down witch makes the arm rotate inward and look shorten cuz the hand is heading more to the viewer than the elbow.

In your drawing your forearm is pretty much vertical, and closer to the viewer, so the difference in length should be almost non.

but I guess thats nitpicking.

About the pose and composition, didn't mean to say it was wrong, it reads well that he is in an incline surface. Just feels a little monotonous, everything facing the same way That was just an opinion, my opinion... so you don't have to have that in account if you don't like it. I thought that maybe braking he's pose with a variation on the leg position, playing a little with perspective , and bringing him a bit to the the right of the screen, to create a negative on the left would make things a bit more interesting. But it's your work, so it's your call. Even if you sound angry a really don't care, sometimes angry is good. I will give my opinion all the same. It's free and you can do with it what you like... :D hopefully every once in a awhile one serves it's purpose ;) .

It is a cool work overall. I'll be working in my entry too later, so tis was good to warm up :lol:

Keep it up.

 

Postby Hayaku_manabi_jin » Thu May 09, 2013 5:09 pm

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Oh I see, I appreciate it :). I do need to try and make my poses not so liner huh? Oh well. Although right now I really need to focus on proportion, cause I'm awful for it.

 

Postby marvel57 » Sun May 12, 2013 3:28 am

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Haya- pretty good, but you have the wrist bone bumps on the inside of the of the wrists,rather than the outside ;) :ugeek:

 

Postby Hayaku_manabi_jin » Sun May 12, 2013 10:46 am

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marvel57 wrote:Haya- pretty good, but you have the wrist bone bumps on the inside of the of the wrists,rather than the outside ;) :ugeek:


Yeah, thanks:) I totally forgot about that. :oops: I'll fix it next time I get the chance (right now I'm on holiday with my family (I forgot to bring my sketch pad).

 

Postby Hayaku_manabi_jin » Thu May 16, 2013 8:00 pm

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I finally am able to scan it. Here it is.
Waka.jpg


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