Submit your artwork for critiques here, or give someone else some helpful criticism or advice on their artwork. Please keep things civil.

Moderators: Ambiguity, SeaQuenchal, Waveloop, imcostalong, virtueone

 

Postby Cookieravage » Thu Mar 21, 2013 6:39 pm

  Cookieravage
Posts: 2
Joined: Thu Mar 21, 2013 6:26 pm

Subject title: Please give some critique !

Please tell me what you like/don't like, and where I can improve :)

Thanks !
Winter.png

 

Postby Waveloop » Fri Mar 22, 2013 6:16 am

User avatar
  Waveloop
Posts: 1122
Joined: Wed Sep 12, 2012 1:31 pm
Location: Portugal

Well, generally I like it. I think what I can say is really just personal taste, but I'll say it anyway :D . First an fore most is the figure.... it just doesn't seem to add anything to the piece. If it was me, I would make it more important like bring it for the foreground,or lose it completely, and just go with the landscape.

Couple more things. That ravine to the left... just seems out of place, creates a cut line when your eye cruises through the piece. The values on the midground (the part of the rock with no snow) are the same has the foreground. And something about the falling snow, it seems too even all across. Maybe create some variation.

Does that make sense ? :?

But... I'm really not the guy to judge. It's just an opinion, with no serious intelligent support behind it. It's worth what it's worth... maybe one of the academic members could make a more serious statement here... PerkExperts... I give you the floor :D

 

Postby Ambiguity » Fri Mar 22, 2013 7:59 am

User avatar
  Ambiguity
Posts: 5524
Joined: Thu May 17, 2012 7:55 am
Location: Your dreams

I'm not that good with composition, but I will say you have a ton of leading lines(the swoops of the mountains and the scarf) that are throwing me off the page to the right.

Another thing is I don't understand the purpose of this piece, it doesn't seem like an establishing shot for the landscape because the camera is really low, and it's not telling us where this character is headed, or why they are out in a snowy wasteland. I'd encourage you to try to come up with a story element for the piece(you don't have to write it down, just think about it) and then rework it with that in mind.

 

Postby perkexpert » Sat Mar 23, 2013 4:48 pm

User avatar
  perkexpert
Posts: 879
Joined: Fri Jun 22, 2012 1:37 pm
Location: Germany

Hi Cookie,

well, nice to see your post here, my thouhts on your piece, or at least what i would change:
- First, i don't really see, what's it all about, what's the topic? i guess it's a small girl lost in a snow-storm, i agree with waveloop and ambiguity here
- Lighting is unclear, as well as the time of day, if you have snow-fall in the mountains, sight is normally really bad, if it's only snowing lightly, the sky is much bluer
- colors: Much too cold violet, especially in the sky, you get violets from the blue sky reflecting into the shadows
- composition: i would make the mountains in the distance lower and add more variety like rocks, more organic shapes,less curves that lead the eyes off the page (as pointed out already)
- variety in general, i feel that your illustration is very "stiff" and lacks the randomness of nature, concercing distribution of masses, snowy ledges, cliffs, rocks...everything
- clearer shadow forms.
- perspective could use some work, or at least some thoughts (also regarding scale and size of details)
i did a quick paintover to try to get these points on top of your illustration, so good start i'd say, keep it up!
overpaint_snow.jpg
Homo sapiens non urinat in ventum
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/artofhannesmangelsdorf/
Homepage: www.perkexpert.com

 

Postby Waveloop » Sat Mar 23, 2013 6:04 pm

User avatar
  Waveloop
Posts: 1122
Joined: Wed Sep 12, 2012 1:31 pm
Location: Portugal

Perk always delivers :D

But I don't know man, I have a feeling he was aiming for a fantasy - gloomy "Tim Burton" look type of ... thing! :?

That's the feeling I had this from post anyway, I guessed it was a full mooned night with fantasy tones to it, even with the light being off. So the lack of realness, was actually a turn on.

But with your approach Perk, things do look a lot fuller, and make me want to reach for another blanket :lol: but that fantasy feel got lost under your skill and snow man :D

 

Postby perkexpert » Sat Mar 23, 2013 8:03 pm

User avatar
  perkexpert
Posts: 879
Joined: Fri Jun 22, 2012 1:37 pm
Location: Germany

Thanks Waveloop! I totally agree, i also liked the feeling it had in the beginning, and with any paintover, you apply the things you think are looking better and therefore destroy or alter the original feel of the piece.
That's the problem with critiques...you don't know what was the thing the artist had in mind? Was something done deliberately or just because he lacked the skills or knowledge to do it otherwise/better?
Anyhow,maybe cake will answer to this post and give us some insight in his thought-process! Btw....your figures in your sketchbook are really amazing...it motivated me to restart some figuredrawing...
Homo sapiens non urinat in ventum
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/artofhannesmangelsdorf/
Homepage: www.perkexpert.com

 

Postby Cookieravage » Sun Mar 24, 2013 7:25 pm

  Cookieravage
Posts: 2
Joined: Thu Mar 21, 2013 6:26 pm

Thank you all for the critiques !

They were very helpfull, and I will try and keep them in mind for future paintings.
I also like the paintover.

Thanks !

 

Postby marvel57 » Sun Mar 24, 2013 8:43 pm

User avatar
  marvel57
Posts: 2015
Joined: Sun Aug 19, 2012 12:43 am
Location: nevada, USA

Cook the little figure looks cheap, also would'nt her little skirt be blown to the right? As it is it looks like a little bell, but a first glance, I like it :ugeek:

 

Postby alnoth » Sun Mar 24, 2013 9:27 pm

  alnoth
Posts: 1271
Joined: Fri Feb 24, 2012 8:30 am

another perks irresistible... :)

i think it lacks "story". its a nice backdrop, but to what? also i toyed a bit with the composition, i dont like the centralized focus too much, so i put the two things - the girl and the central "building" thingy off center. i wanted the girl to go "somewhere" so that the viewer knows where to look rather than just gaze around the scenery with no focal point. also i tweaked the curves some, to try and get back to the mood of the original - i think the mood has more to do with values and colors rather than technical details, so i think perks scenery can have the same mood as the original. anyway... heres the piece:
overpaint_snow.jpg

 

Postby perkexpert » Sun Mar 24, 2013 9:32 pm

User avatar
  perkexpert
Posts: 879
Joined: Fri Jun 22, 2012 1:37 pm
Location: Germany

Ahhh alnoth...as always...you put the icing on the cake :) Great mood and nice adjustments, the central building was just a weakly painted rock...but hmmmm very good idea btw....where is my stylus?
Homo sapiens non urinat in ventum
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/artofhannesmangelsdorf/
Homepage: www.perkexpert.com

 

Postby alnoth » Sun Mar 24, 2013 9:42 pm

  alnoth
Posts: 1271
Joined: Fri Feb 24, 2012 8:30 am

oh no i know it was a rock, but i wanted a "something" that the girl could if not go to, at least look towards. you know, something to stand out of the mountain scenery

 

Postby marvel57 » Sun Mar 24, 2013 9:48 pm

User avatar
  marvel57
Posts: 2015
Joined: Sun Aug 19, 2012 12:43 am
Location: nevada, USA

The skirt. :roll:

 

Postby perkexpert » Sun Mar 24, 2013 10:05 pm

User avatar
  perkexpert
Posts: 879
Joined: Fri Jun 22, 2012 1:37 pm
Location: Germany

It just begged to be put in there...
hutinthesnow.jpg
Homo sapiens non urinat in ventum
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/artofhannesmangelsdorf/
Homepage: www.perkexpert.com

 

Postby Ambiguity » Sun Mar 24, 2013 10:21 pm

User avatar
  Ambiguity
Posts: 5524
Joined: Thu May 17, 2012 7:55 am
Location: Your dreams

perkexpert wrote:It just begged to be put in there...

Something is off there, the house doesn't feel like it's far away, it just looks like a tiny house; I think it's something to do with the values.

 

Postby alnoth » Sun Mar 24, 2013 11:23 pm

  alnoth
Posts: 1271
Joined: Fri Feb 24, 2012 8:30 am

I think it's something to do with the values.

look up blue perspective ideas by leonardo ;)

 

Postby perkexpert » Sun Mar 24, 2013 11:30 pm

User avatar
  perkexpert
Posts: 879
Joined: Fri Jun 22, 2012 1:37 pm
Location: Germany

Come on alnoth, make the next version :)
Homo sapiens non urinat in ventum
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/artofhannesmangelsdorf/
Homepage: www.perkexpert.com

 

Postby Ambiguity » Mon Mar 25, 2013 12:22 am

User avatar
  Ambiguity
Posts: 5524
Joined: Thu May 17, 2012 7:55 am
Location: Your dreams

alnoth wrote:look up blue perspective ideas by leonardo ;)

Couldn't find anything with that specific name, but I assume I'd find atmospheric perspective studies?

 

Postby alnoth » Mon Mar 25, 2013 8:39 am

  alnoth
Posts: 1271
Joined: Fri Feb 24, 2012 8:30 am

Couldn't find anything with that specific name, but I assume I'd find atmospheric perspective studies?

to be honest im not sure if you would find anything... this is the term i know it under from art theory books and stuff in my language, so its very much possible that in the original or english or whatever else the term is established differently. atmospheric perspective is most likely it. im not sure its even leonardo :D but some of the renessaince dudes for sure. basically the more air between you and the subject, the more blue it appears - snow in the distance - even tho is perfectly white appears bluish. the sky is blue for this very reason. (blue light has the specific wavelength to penetrate air best, so all other colors fade away faster than blue.)

 

Postby marvel57 » Mon Mar 25, 2013 8:43 pm

User avatar
  marvel57
Posts: 2015
Joined: Sun Aug 19, 2012 12:43 am
Location: nevada, USA

Idk about you guys, but I feel better :P :ugeek:


Return to Critique This!

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 4 guests

cron