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Postby Brian Kouhi » Fri Jan 25, 2013 6:07 am

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Subject title: Persian Cheetah Huntsman

Ello Ello, this is one of the pictures i just finished for my Nature and Culture class, its based on Cheetahs, and in this picture, it's showing their use by the Ancient Egyptian and Persians. I had to finish this really quickly, so it really does show. its messy, and barely shaded at all. BUT i think I'm planing to work on it, even after i hand it in, because i really do like the idea...
Any ways, if i could get some tips on the arms/hand and other stuff, it'd be nice :D
regarding the little rabbit/rat thing in the foreground, its temporary, i might change it into a dear of some sort.
Critique away! it would be greatly appreciated!
Cheetah hunter small.jpg
Hey guys! I'm Brian Kouhi, 20 years old, and attending at OCAD University of Art, Just started 3rd Year, majoring in Digital Painting & Expanded Animation

 

Postby Zjacklee » Fri Jan 25, 2013 9:33 am

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Not bad!

My first critique on this would be about the size of the horse. It's kind of small.
The cheetahs body could use some more work. Review animal anatomy a bit for the forms.

And the thing that stood out and has me puzzling to what it really is, is that thing in the guy's hand. Is it a whiptail?
What is really going on? ( from what you tell me here, I can analyse the dynamics of the piece )

When I analyse it now, it seems as if the guy is just casually taking the horse for a walk and then.... Oh look, a cheetah.
(Get what I mean with the story the illustration can tell?)
Look closely. Can you really See?!

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Postby alnoth » Fri Jan 25, 2013 10:12 am

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dude... that horse has got shorter legs than the guy :shock:

 

Postby Waveloop » Fri Jan 25, 2013 10:46 am

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Yeah Persian horses are known to be small and really thin... but thats a pony :D
I would put the cheetah closer to the the viewer giving thats whats being pictured...

man now I really feel like drawing a cheetah... :shock:

 

Postby alnoth » Fri Jan 25, 2013 11:05 am

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plus the nostrils on the horse look way too close to each other, i think they should be more towards the sides

 

Postby Rhynn » Fri Jan 25, 2013 2:09 pm

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Right, let's see :D

First up, the horse. It's far too small and the excuse that it's a pony doesn't fly either, as ponies are generally more round than what I see on the drawing. Generally speaking, part on the back where the neck meets the body (there's a name for it, but I don't know it in english) reaches between the shoulder and top of the head of a grown man.
Its head has the wrong shape. The top is of the head is actually correct, but then it's far too triangular. The nose needs to be wider. The horse's left ear also seems to be in a rather funky place... it seems to be in a different perspective than the rest of the head.
The legs of a horse are far longer. Right now you have nearly Shetland pony proportions. The area where the right leg's shoulder connects to the body has something really weird going on, not sure how to fix that xD

I'm also not quite sure how the guy is holding the horse, but that's a minor detail :P

Next, the man. His right arm is way too long, something is going wrong with the foreshortening there. His upper body seems too wide. Did you start by drawing the guy without clothes on, and then added the clothes?

I'm not really sure what to say about the cheetah; except that it looks like it's a bit... blob shaped. The hips seem to be at a really weird angle and the back seems to be larger than the front, somehow. What I think you're mainly missing, is the arched back I think it would have in this position.

Hope that helps ;)

 

Postby alnoth » Fri Jan 25, 2013 3:26 pm

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was it this one?

Image

 

Postby Brian Kouhi » Fri Jan 25, 2013 7:54 pm

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Holy crap.. Thanks for the Critiques and comments and all that good stuff! i had a blast reading through them and some cracked me up more than it should have :D

Oh kay, time to respond to some....
Zjacklee wrote:Not bad!

My first critique on this would be about the size of the horse. It's kind of small.
The cheetahs body could use some more work. Review animal anatomy a bit for the forms.

And the thing that stood out and has me puzzling to what it really is, is that thing in the guy's hand. Is it a whiptail?
What is really going on? ( from what you tell me here, I can analyse the dynamics of the piece )

When I analyse it now, it seems as if the guy is just casually taking the horse for a walk and then.... Oh look, a cheetah.
(Get what I mean with the story the illustration can tell?)

Hahaha, the thing in the guy's right hand is sepouse to be a leash of somesort, for the cheetah. That is a tamed cheetah being used by the guy for hunting, and yes i compeletaly agree, theres basicly no life in the painting, i re-sketched the idea with the guy on the horse, the horse running, and the guy about to shoot a bow. oh and the cheetah is behind them slightly.

alnoth wrote:dude... that horse has got shorter legs than the guy :shock:

lol yea... i had to Stretch the dudes legs after i drew his clothes, he looked like he had veery short legs, and i didnt have enough time to mess around with the horse.

Waveloop wrote:Yeah Persian horses are known to be small and really thin... but thats a pony :D
I would put the cheetah closer to the the viewer giving thats whats being pictured...
man now I really feel like drawing a cheetah... :shock:

bahaha, and yup that was the intention, cheetah running towards the cam

Rhynn wrote:Right, let's see :D

First up, the horse. It's far too small and the excuse that it's a pony doesn't fly either, as ponies are generally more round than what I see on the drawing. Generally speaking, part on the back where the neck meets the body (there's a name for it, but I don't know it in english) reaches between the shoulder and top of the head of a grown man.
Its head has the wrong shape. The top is of the head is actually correct, but then it's far too triangular. The nose needs to be wider. The horse's left ear also seems to be in a rather funky place... it seems to be in a different perspective than the rest of the head.
The legs of a horse are far longer. Right now you have nearly Shetland pony proportions. The area where the right leg's shoulder connects to the body has something really weird going on, not sure how to fix that xD

I'm also not quite sure how the guy is holding the horse, but that's a minor detail :P

Next, the man. His right arm is way too long, something is going wrong with the foreshortening there. His upper body seems too wide. Did you start by drawing the guy without clothes on, and then added the clothes?

I'm not really sure what to say about the cheetah; except that it looks like it's a bit... blob shaped. The hips seem to be at a really weird angle and the back seems to be larger than the front, somehow. What I think you're mainly missing, is the arched back I think it would have in this position.

Hope that helps ;)

I would like to Thank you sir for writing me a 500 word essay. lol no seriously i really do appreciate the time you put into finding all of the minor and or big problems with this piece. Also it cracked me up a few times :lol: . Anywho, as for the Clothing part, no i sketched out his body, then put clothes on him, BUT after i did so, his legs seemed way shorter than it should be, so i stretched his legs with |Freetransform| but didn't have enough time to fixup the horse after that, since this was a class assignment for today, or so i thought... :<

alnoth wrote:was it this one?

Image

lol nope but something reallly similar.
___________________________________________________
Thank you everyone for the Critiques and .. umm fullout Essays ;).
I didn't have much to time fix up all my errors last night, becuase i thought it was do today.. which turns out its not... its due next Friday..
anywho, i was mainly trying to get the base idea through, how ever rough it may have been, but i still wanted it to be presentable.

Thank you all, god bless your souls! unless you're an atheist then..umm.. yea i dont really know. :D
Hey guys! I'm Brian Kouhi, 20 years old, and attending at OCAD University of Art, Just started 3rd Year, majoring in Digital Painting & Expanded Animation

 

Postby Brian Kouhi » Fri Jan 25, 2013 9:42 pm

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Just a followup post, this is the sketch i did in class time, there was no reference used. I'm planning to extend the image, and add a deer to the left side of the image, to were the archer is pointing at. I'm going over this on the computer.
This is just a sketch, but if u see anything that needs attending let me know.
Capture.JPG
Hey guys! I'm Brian Kouhi, 20 years old, and attending at OCAD University of Art, Just started 3rd Year, majoring in Digital Painting & Expanded Animation

 

Postby Zjacklee » Fri Jan 25, 2013 11:15 pm

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Not a bad idea.

But the horse still seems small to me.
Check out this picture. Analyse their size relation:
Spoiler: show
Image


Also, I can't sense the relation in between the horseman and the cheetah as master and pet yet. For all I know they might be both trying to get the same prey, or the cheetah is ambushing the guy while he is hunting. ( feel me? )
Look closely. Can you really See?!

http://zjacklee.deviantart.com/ that's my deviant. ^_^

https://www.facebook.com/Trplerainbow My fanpage.

 

Postby alnoth » Fri Jan 25, 2013 11:25 pm

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im not sure a horse usually runs that way - to have each leg in a completely different position like that. of course its different from gallop to slower movements, but still.

i dont think rhynn is a "sir" ;)

Image

 

Postby Brian Kouhi » Fri Jan 25, 2013 11:28 pm

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Lol yup i "feel ya" (nohomo) :3
thanks for the reference pic. And regarding the cheetah/hunter dude, you are absolutely right!. i Sketched the guy first, then i had no idea were to place the cheetah, cues why the heck would it be in front of him if he is aiming to the side, and i coudn't put it on the side because it would look like the guy is hunting the Cheetah! so yeah thats a problem i had :/
Hey guys! I'm Brian Kouhi, 20 years old, and attending at OCAD University of Art, Just started 3rd Year, majoring in Digital Painting & Expanded Animation

 

Postby Brian Kouhi » Fri Jan 25, 2013 11:31 pm

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Lol thank you Very much alnoth, that reference photo, is Exactly what i need! :)
Hey guys! I'm Brian Kouhi, 20 years old, and attending at OCAD University of Art, Just started 3rd Year, majoring in Digital Painting & Expanded Animation

 

Postby Waveloop » Sat Jan 26, 2013 1:05 am

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That's a nice sketch dude, and without reference... you're doing some nice improvements dude, keep it up.
Oh and I just add to draw a cheetah :D

 

Postby Brian Kouhi » Sat Jan 26, 2013 1:26 am

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hahaha ,thanks :) but im noooowere near were i want to be at this age.... i'm pretty disappointed with my self. thanks for the compliment! :)
Hey guys! I'm Brian Kouhi, 20 years old, and attending at OCAD University of Art, Just started 3rd Year, majoring in Digital Painting & Expanded Animation

 

Postby Waveloop » Sat Jan 26, 2013 1:38 am

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Common don't say that... that's not the point, the point is to be the best, or it is just a waste of time... now hit the floor and give me 50 sketches soldier :evil:

:D :lol:

Common dude! Have fun... you'll be good when you stop worrying about that... you are already in the road to awesomeness, but the trick is to enjoy the ride there...

cheers

 

Postby Brian Kouhi » Sat Jan 26, 2013 5:09 am

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Inspiriting words :D thanks ;)
And also watching Sycra's newest video, i kinda feel a little better about were im at, i think i'm somewhere around where Sycra was when he was 19(2003) :)
Hey guys! I'm Brian Kouhi, 20 years old, and attending at OCAD University of Art, Just started 3rd Year, majoring in Digital Painting & Expanded Animation

 

Postby Williham24 » Thu Jan 31, 2013 12:53 am

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That really is awesome dude! Man! Wish I could just draw something like that haha, without references as well! I would need about a million :( Anyways, this is actually the most nitpicky thing ever, so I apologise, it looks to me like the archer/hunter man is aiming kinda low, like he almost looks off balance, but also I'm not sure the cheetah is looking in the right direction, like it's looking right at the viewer, whereas the archer man is pointing off the page, so the cheetah isn't exactly looking at the prey? Sorry, I'm sure I'm the only one who will notice that because it is so insignificant haha :oops:
It also kinda looks like the cheetah is hovering on with his superpowers, like the dude in infamous with the electricity :? :shock:
Hi I'm Will :) I'm 17 and I want to do illustration :)
'Paint a little less of the facts and a little more of the spirit'

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Postby Brian Kouhi » Thu Jan 31, 2013 6:45 am

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Williham24 wrote:That really is awesome dude! Man! Wish I could just draw something like that haha, without references as well! I would need about a million :( Anyways, this is actually the most nitpicky thing ever, so I apologise, it looks to me like the archer/hunter man is aiming kinda low, like he almost looks off balance, but also I'm not sure the cheetah is looking in the right direction, like it's looking right at the viewer, whereas the archer man is pointing off the page, so the cheetah isn't exactly looking at the prey? Sorry, I'm sure I'm the only one who will notice that because it is so insignificant haha :oops:
It also kinda looks like the cheetah is hovering on with his superpowers, like the dude in infamous with the electricity :? :shock:


Wow, thanks for the compliments! i really do appreciate them alot!
now for the critiques, this was just a basic sketch i did in calss to get the feel of what the scene would look like, im probably going to make this into a digital painting, and i'll definitely keep in mind the things you've pointed out, thanks alot!
Hey guys! I'm Brian Kouhi, 20 years old, and attending at OCAD University of Art, Just started 3rd Year, majoring in Digital Painting & Expanded Animation

 

Postby Brian Kouhi » Thu Jan 31, 2013 11:18 pm

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Ok!.. I need help asap, I need some Semi-final Critiques on this sketch before i try to finish it off for tomorrow's class, I been having a really difficult time trying to figure out the guy's pose, i've re sketched him about 3 times now..
Right now he is Blowing a Horn with his right hand, and resting his left hand on the horses back(which will probebly going to turn into a Saddle later on.
ON the foreground is going to be A Deer of some sort, i just did a 20-30 second sketch of what Type of position is going to be in, i might even experiment with some blur effects, i dono.. :/ but yea, any last comments before i try and finish it off?
Thank you.

I'm also not sure about the horizon line, i just added it right before i toke these photos.
Capture2.JPG
Capture3.JPG
DEER DEER DEER DEER!!! not Dear. :3
Hey guys! I'm Brian Kouhi, 20 years old, and attending at OCAD University of Art, Just started 3rd Year, majoring in Digital Painting & Expanded Animation

 

Postby Zjacklee » Fri Feb 01, 2013 6:41 pm

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I'm just thinking that if the guy was pointing with his hand to the deer, it would be more clear that he is probably commanding the cheetah and targeting the deer. ( ofcourse depending on the hand gesture it would imply a different story. For instance an open hand would be more like... "NOO!! My deer!" a hand trying to grasp desperately to the last sight of this deer. While a pointing finger seems more like an order. Straight pointing fingers like the Nazi era can also imply, attack... so you have to think carefully about the pose and think.... how would I do it? what message do I see here? )
Blowing a horn would signal either alarm or a call. ( it's also used as a war call i guess, but i dunno )

good luck!
Look closely. Can you really See?!

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