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PostPosted: Fri Oct 26, 2012 1:56 pm
by kocab22
Hi I need some feedback. I upload it in my sketchbook but its probably better for comments to upload it in this section. Thanks for your critique words.. This is just for fun, ink outline is just to show composition. The bird is kind of holding the bottle. Its suppose to be Phoenix, but it looks more like starling :oops: Its for competition (Im in just for fun), have to finish it pretty soon so any comments are welcome!! THX

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PostPosted: Fri Oct 26, 2012 5:57 pm
by marvel57
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....uh...what...that's real good,man. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz :ugeek:

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PostPosted: Fri Oct 26, 2012 7:02 pm
by Fenix_N
Ahhh c'mon man. I know it's ok to poke fun a little but you should leave some constructive criticism as well. The design of the phoenix could be more interesting (bigger wings, more indication of fire). Sometimes a good way to add interest is to add asymmetry by changing the perspective (like looking up or down on the subject with a 3/4 view). This is where thumb nailing is important to test different ideas and different perspectives.

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PostPosted: Fri Oct 26, 2012 8:33 pm
by marvel57
Koc- what is the contest for? A product, free choice, what? :?: talk to me and maybe I could give you more, sorry about my first critique, l was just being a s---. I won a high school poster contest one time, it was a swipe but no one knew
. :roll:

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PostPosted: Fri Oct 26, 2012 10:40 pm
by kocab22
Fenix: Thanks you are right, thumbnailing was the thing which I should start with :/.. I know it is not good, thats why I post it here. To hear where to improve and how.

Marvel: This is a contest for one beer company of new beer cover. It will finish in few days, so Im probably not going to send this at all, because I will never finish it so fast. Im newbie, that means I have NO experience. I draw like for a month ;). The contest is free choice, but there is a beer bottle template to download on their web. You can win art studio in Prague for one year! So there will be probably a lot of real artists in it ;). And finally I just want to say, that I post this to get some critique. It can be hard critique I don't care, but not the words of ridicule.

I post this first in my sketchbook, but had no comments there so I tried to put it here. If it is against some rules or so, let me know.

P.S.: If you want to download the template it is here, you have to click on "CHCI NAVRHNOUT ETIKETU " there zou will see PS logo and you can try to send them something :). Web is in Czech only though..

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PostPosted: Sat Oct 27, 2012 12:18 am
by marvel57
I think someone good should knock-out poster for kocab so he could win that sweeet studio in Prague as a pro bono type thing and also test how good you are,or at least help him out. What you folks think? :!: get forum bragging rights yes no yes? ;)

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PostPosted: Sat Oct 27, 2012 7:01 pm
by kocab22
Iv made some grayscale of the bird...

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PostPosted: Sat Oct 27, 2012 7:08 pm
by marvel57
Kocab I just Googled, pictures of of phoenix ,and there were plenty, check it out :ugeek:

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PostPosted: Sat Oct 27, 2012 7:26 pm
by Minako008
Hm, it seems like the bird have no neck. You placed the head pretty low, that means that this bird have bend her neck, so there should be some part of the neck visible. Just my suggestion. :D

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PostPosted: Sat Oct 27, 2012 8:24 pm
by kocab22
Minako: You are probably riht. I made him with long neck if you look in sketching.. Yeah his head might be probably moved a little bit more left though and neck might be there :-/ .. Thanks for pointing this out! This is what Im looking for in critique section ;). Thanks.

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PostPosted: Sat Oct 27, 2012 8:31 pm
by Minako008
kocab22 wrote:Minako: You are probably riht. I made him with long neck if you look in sketching.. Yeah his head might be probably moved a little bit more left though and neck might be there :-/ .. Thanks for pointing this out! This is what Im looking for in critique section ;). Thanks.


I glad if I was able to help. :D

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PostPosted: Sun Oct 28, 2012 8:23 pm
by kocab22
Hi, I add some wings.. It was a bit struggle for me (as everything lol) but in the end its not so bad... Comments are welcome ;) I was also trying to give him a neck, but it was ugly so I leave it like this .. :-/

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PostPosted: Sun Oct 28, 2012 9:28 pm
by marvel57
Kocab-pretty good, set it off w/ Color! :ugeek:

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 29, 2012 10:53 pm
by kocab22
Hey so I had some struggle with colours... My first transition from grayscale to colour... Struggle with fire as well .. He is still missing tail.. I know its not perfect, but I have learned a lot of new stuff!

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 30, 2012 5:40 am
by Alexanderthefake
kocab22 wrote:Hey so I had some struggle with colours... My first transition from grayscale to colour... Struggle with fire as well .. He is still missing tail.. I know its not perfect, but I have learned a lot of new stuff!


Good job! Nice progression, going from grayscale to color is a little difficult but there are some short cuts, such as establishing which colors you are going to use ahead of time (a color theory book is a great tool, even if you are simply copying the schemes exactly)and exchanging grayscale values for color ones. Try 3 tones, darkest,overall and highlights and then fractal and blend more tones from there. Also try not using black at all. Even though shadows appear black they truly are not, and think about ambient effects of light and how that light effects the color. Blah, hope this makes sense. Best wishes.

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PostPosted: Wed Oct 31, 2012 11:02 am
by Otakatt
If you're having trouble with fire Sycra did a great video tutorial about it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H0M2_pv ... ure=relmfu

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PostPosted: Wed Oct 31, 2012 11:18 pm
by BoraxFlux
Hi kocab22,

You' ve started with a wireframe for the bird, which is an excellent way to build up your figure.
Some remarks about the workings of a bird:

Hinge Point.
The hinge point of a birds beak lies way further back of the skull, imagine a pair of scissors without the handles. The part of the handles that's outside the skin has a horn-like layer. The beak is part of the jaw and the jaw forms one of the biggest parts of a birds skull. The upper part of the mandible is fixed to the upperpart of the skull and can not "hinge" from the upper part. (You've got that part right, but might check the lower mandible).
See underneath picture of a birds skeleton.
http://www.twitt.org/LordsBird03.jpg

Skin behavior when beak is open.
When opening the beak, skin will stretch forming roughly a half-round shape between upper and lower mandible. Form and thickness of this skin depends on type of bird or whether it's a youngster or an adult. Below is a nice example, the skin is somewhat translucent in the lower mandible.
http://www.colourbox.com/image/shout-hu ... ge-4341610

Birds legs
Birds are highly dependent of their legs, without good legs no take off (unless you jump down from a cliff of course, their are species who will do that). Some birds run to gain momentum to jump in the air, some birds just jump. A bird of prey needs to reach out to its target and fetch its prey with strong claws. If I were a bird of prey I' would keep the bulk of the weight under my body, not sideways. Or otherwise it would be a pretty unstable flight. Knees would be bend parallel to the body, not sideways. Birds have their knees close to their bodies, very high heels and walk on the front part of their feet.
See also the first link to the bird skeleton.
http://www.funcram.com/media/pictures/b ... fish-1.jpg
Close-up of claw:
http://adirondackexplorer.org/notes-fro ... CN5359.JPG

Hope this helps.

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PostPosted: Thu Nov 01, 2012 2:22 am
by BrandonB
Looking good buddy. If I were you, I would replace that large horn-like " I'm assuming it's some type of horn like a triceratops" with maybe long feathers. Of course that would mean adding a bit of neck. Here's a reference of a similar pose

http://www.sfu.ca/~ffk1/IAT206/DB/ho-oh.jpg

It's very cartoony, but you can get an idea of the anatomy from it I hope. Hope that helps you and good luck with the prize! :D